Seriously Sopranos Fans...KILL YOURSELF!

I thought this Monday would be like most.

I would struggle to get up, drag me feet getting ready my internship and be about 10 minutes late. That part I knew was going to happen but this Monday, all anybody in the media or anyone in the world seemed to care about was the fuckin' Sopranos.

I obviously know the show exists, I know what it's about, I knew it was the last episode but did I watch it? No, I never watched so why start now.

- 8:00 am, SportsCenter, Sopranos talk.
I'm thinking okay I guess they had to elude to it being a masculine network.

- 8:30 am, Shower, Sopranos talk.
I listen to the radio every morning in the shower and this morning all they wanted to scream and yell about was the ending to this show. The sad part is I GOT THE ENDING RIGHT without ever watching an episode (Not the onion rings and shit but you know). I told the few people who still cared to ask me after I told them I don't watch that shit Friday that it would have a un-ending, meaning that it's just going to stop and nothing will be resolved. IT'S CLASSIC CLIFFHANGER! Think the chicken from Family Guy, when you think it's dead, it opens its eyes and leaves the door open for him and Peter to fight again.

- 8:50 am, Mike & Mike in the Morning, Sopranos talk.
Their banter about this bullshit ass show is probably what pushed my annoyance to code red. Very little mention of Lewis Hamilton, the first black driver to win an F1 race, very little talk of anything sports related.

- 9:00 am, CNN Headline News, Sopranos talk.
Surely CNN would give me some idea of what's going on in the world besides the Sopranos and Paris Hilton (at this point I long for a Paris Hilton story). Nope! Viewer e-mails on what they think about the ending or how it should have ended. Didn't George Bush do something yesterday?

- 9:20 am, Fox News, Sopranos talk.
It's sad when they push you to the dark side but surely conservatives don't give a shit about this show. NOPE, I was wrong.

- 9:25 am, Charlotte Observer, Sopranos talk.
FUCK TV, I know the newspaper (and it's website) will have a little bit on it. FIRST THING YOU SEE on Charlotte.com, the fucking Sopranos and everybody wants to give their two cents.

- 9:30 am, Cartoon Network
I have no clue what I was watching but one thing was for damn sure, they weren't talking about that show.

-10:07 am, Creative Loafing Charlotte, Sopranos talk.
I told yall I'd be like 10 minutes late, anyway, I get in and sit down, the music editor hands me some listings to double check. Cool. Behind me the Amen Corner has assembled to talk about what else The Sopranos. These people are talking about where they were like it was Kennedy's assassination or September 11th (I was in ROTC for 9/11, definitely not a good look). Anyway, they go on describing their account of the events like no one else they were talking to watched it. They went on rambling about that shit, Regis & Kelly and Bruce Leroy (YES, I heard a Last Dragon reference on a Monday morning! What is really going on?) before I realized "Hey, I'm a music intern, I can just drown their ass out with music" So I headphone'd up and got through the day. Not without a couple IM's asking me if I saw it which weren't answered angrily or ignored depending on when they asked.

- 2:45 pm, Home.
I just beat the thunderstorm home, YES! I settle down in my pops recliner and turn on another channel I know won't be talking about that show (Yes, I had to go Bill Parcells and not even mention it's fuckin name). Ahh, How Clean Is Your House? on BBC America, a sanctuary.

- 4:00 pm, NFL Live, ESPN, Sopranos talk.
They suckered me back in with football and then snuffed me with a Sopranos uppercut eluding to the fucking show over 20 times and even doing a damn segment which chronicled GOOD ENDINGS/BAD ENDINGS on NFL careers, which I'll hand it to them was a clever twist but still fucking annoying.

- 4:30 pm, Rob & Big...
Jim Rome thinks he's a Soprano do you really think I care what he's burning on? Once again Rob & Big DO WORK SON! and save the day. I CAN'T BELIEVE THE WORLD WIDE LEADER DIDN'T FIRE MANY A COLUMNIST FOR PROCLAIMING THAT IT WAS THE SHOW OF OUR GENERATION. I'd much rather watch The Office or Food Network, fuck it I actually did flip to DIY (Do It Yourself) network for a little while to escape.

- 5:00 pm, ESPN again...
It's like a scar I gotta keep scratching, The next person to say "Whacked" and think it's original I'm going to blow up their studio and write my congressman! (I don't know but it seemed like it fit there). Around The Horn, obvious I know they are going to bring it up, they've talked about it before when it wasn't the finale so I prepared for it. I somehow made it through my favorite show of competitive banter unscathed. PTI on the other hand forced me in a non-steroid induced rage! Television was subsequently turned off for the day.

- 6:52 pm, Phone Call, Sopranos talk.
Afternoon Nap was in full effect, BlackBerry rings, it's one of my best friends! I know she won't want to talk about that damn show but she is known for bombing conversations and not even 30 seconds after pleasantries she drops the A-Bomb, "So what did you think of the Sopranos?" My mind says, YOU BITCH! and as I fight the urge to hang up and throw the hand held device in the hamper near my closet, I control my rage of being awoken by such tomfoolery and calmly say "When have you ever heard me say I watched that show?" As she prepares to become the victim, she says, "Well I just thought..." I cut her off, "I'm so tired of talking about that fucking show, I'm seriously mad right now that that's all people want to talk about today..." After venting some frustration, I kindly ask if I can call her back cause God knows that if I keep talking to her, I'm setting myself up for a "You were mean to me" conversation down the road.

- 10:00 pm, Facebook
I wake up surprisingly energized and low and behold only one question about my current Facebook status...
"Big is the only nigga alive who doesn't give a shit about the Sopranos or the ending and laughing because he's never watched it and still got the ending right."
That person who asked that question, you know who you are, is officially a dick to me.

At the end of the day, I'm not doubting that the show in question wasn't a good show nor do I deny the fact that at it's peak it was one of the most popular but the same way I look at Scarface and wonder how people can watch that long, fake ass movie over and over again and call it the best, the same way "hard" niggas are all about that movie and "gangster" shit, really it was like Goodfellas the series, at best. (Want to see some real shit watch Cocaine Cowboys). I never really got into shit like that because it was ridiculously stereotypical and also very predictable, America's fascination with the gangster mentality is a mystery to me. So Sopranos fans, from the bottom of my heart, go ahead and commit that. Get over your show, I'm glad I can watch Entourage, Big Love, Real Sex and Flight of the Conchords on HBO now without dumbass, vague Sopranos teasers. Oh and fuck USA Today too, I really love your paper but damnit today if I didn't feel like destroying your website! I didn't forget about yall niggas, yall had the show over real life events. Is that good journalism? Somebody call DeWayne Wickham!