Reflections on 2006. Goals for 2007.

WARNING: This entry is a good 1600 word so if you don’t have the time or attention span you might want to read it in sections!

Reflecting on 2006 was good for me because in my heart of hearts I can’t remember a year where I accomplished so much or grew so much.

I flew for the first time, overcame fears, decided to “better” myself in different aspects of my life.

I think I’m slowly but surely growing out of my immature habits. Don’t get me wrong, I like living on the fringe of the conscious black man and the ignorant Negro. I mean the blend of the two makes me, for all the jazz, soul and common sense in me there’s a little Three 6 Mafia you know what I mean. I can’t live without the two; being serious all the time is kind of pompous and being ignorant is just that ignorant.

My goals for 2007 are to continue to grow as a person (which is easily attainable) but I also want to become more articulate and as I’ve told some of the people close to me, I want to learn how to speak up when it matters. Whether that means expressing my true feelings to someone or standing up for a particular cause I want to have the courage to speak then to go along with my usual gregarious nature.

In 2007, I’m going to use my God given vocabulary. I’m kind of tired of “dumbing” things down. I want to become more well read; I’ve avoided books for a long time. I want to have more intellectual conversations in 2007. I love sports and music but I mean come on, I read the Wall Street Journal and at least two newspapers everyday, and watch as much CNN, CNBC and History Channel as I do ESPN, HBO and MTV.

I think I’m going to put a clear divide between me, Mike McCray and “Big Mike” as I’m referred too.

Since high school I’ve felt like “Big Mike” was a persona and Mike McCray was actually me. “Big Mike” is an asshole (which I enjoy being sometimes). He is a self-assured know-it-all who is outgoing, comical and what old people would call a “character.”

Mike McCray on the other hand is a more reserved person who possesses a lot of the traits of “Big Mike” except they are scaled down. Mike McCray likes to sit at home instead of going to the club just to write, listen to music without words (no not rap instrumentals), Mike McCray is quiet and talks only to overcome hide his fear of public speaking. He hates speaking in front of people while “Big Mike” is first to volunteer to run his mouth in class or in his social circles.

The funny thing is Mike McCray’s success depends heavily on the development of “Big Mike” because people tend to like “Big Mike.” He’s entertaining, spontaneous and energetic. He shakes things up while Mike McCray sits, watches and goes with the flow.

The common sense of Mike McCray keeps “Big Mike” from getting out of hand. Mike McCray is the one who sits at home and worries about his future, his family, and his decisions that day while “Big Mike” more or less says fuck it and channels his energy into something useless. Mike McCray doesn’t get drunk. He has a drink socially and kind of sidelines while “Big Mike” gets twisted.

Some days I really hate being “Big Mike” and just want to be Mike McCray, the only problem with that is everybody knows and expects “Big Mike” nobody knows or cares to know who Mike McCray is so they assume I’m having a bad day when really I just want to chill out, go unnoticed and do something constructive.

Another downfall to being “Big Mike” is when a woman starts to like “Big Mike” then we chill more often and I get comfortable enough to let myself come out and because myself is a home body who isn’t aggressive, an extreme “good guy”, a lame if you will. Things fall apart and that’s disappointing.

I don’t have split personalities. I just have two personalities (if that makes sense at all). It’s not like I haven’t tried to morph the two in what you might call a “Super Mike” but they clash so much. “Big Mike” is chauvinistic while Mike McCray has a conscious and can’t fathom any logical excuse for cheating. “Big Mike” is a player with no game. Mike McCray is a levelheaded person who just wants love. “Big Mike” is hard to explain but obviously shallow while Mike McCray is wholesome, kind hearted, romantic and embarrassingly naïve (ask the people that know me).

I think it’s interesting that every woman that I am close too is either married, in a serious relationship or a million miles away. I guess in some instances its because other men see what I see in them and because I guess if I don’t have a chance at somebody then the stupid things I do to impress or “court” someone goes out the window and I just become myself. Tell embarrassing stories, share my thoughts and dreams, and listen to their problems and help where I can.

I hope people meet Mike McCray in 2007. You just might like him and don’t worry “Big Mike” will be there too. I’m more or less “Big Mike” in class and Mike McCray at home (except “Big Mike” is messy and Mike McCray is neat and “Big Mike” wins that battle).

Enough of my internal struggles.

In 2007, I’m really hoping to become more of a leader. Those close to me know that I want to be the editor in chief of The A&T Register in 2007. I haven’t hidden that at all.
So in the spring of 2007 I want to prepare for what hopefully will be my position in the fall.

As editor (cue campaign music), I want to get back to the “glory days” of the paper where we covered hard news, put an A&T spin on other news and kept things fresh and entertaining. I really think that me not being a print journalism major helps me understand a broader audience and keeps me from getting locked into print journalism standards which in a dying industry and very outdated. I know that the paper has duty to cover events but with I also know that without the fluff, you lose your base, which should be a 50/50 information and entertainment. Hook ‘em with the fashion or sports piece and hope they read the world news page next to it.

Let’s see…oh yeah, I want to get better with money. I get paid on the 15th of every month yet I’m usually broke by the 20th. I’m extremely careless with money. Whether I leave it somewhere, waste it or give it away, I rarely budget. I’ve gone through budgeting phases before but they usually go out the window when I get enough to go crazy on eBay. I mean I’ve used Quicken, Microsoft Money, the works but in can say, I will continue to pay my bills on time in 2007 because I need good credit.

I want to travel more in 2007. I probably should have saved more money in 2006 to do it but I think where there is a will there is a way. I want to thank A&T for giving me the opportunity to see different places and experience new things (on their money). But, this goes back to “Big Mike” vs. Mike McCray. “Big Mike” is Charlotte this, QC that while Mike McCray realizes that Charlotte has nothing on the world that I haven’t seen yet. I do hope to go abroad before I leave school, even if it’s only a week or two.

I want to pray for my continued blessings in 2007. I’ve told a lot of people that I’m starting to worry about all this success and good in my life and even went as far as to put myself on notice for something bad to happen at one point in 2006. I’m hoping that I can grow out of that skepticism about success and be able to accept it and the moment enough to where I can enjoy the blessings bestowed upon me.

I want to become more thankful in 2007. I got baptized in 2006 and I haven’t fallen back into bad habits but I have fallen back into my old habits. I don’t pray like I should, I don’t give thanks like I should. I really don’t study the Bible but I still feel my relationship with God is a strong one.

I know it’s a personal relationship but to share a little bit with you. I think I’m pretty good with the Lord. I believe that even with the “wild” statements I make that God knows my sense of humor and knows my heart and the honest truth is I don’t have the heart to even do a lot of bad things. Whether it was my upbringing in church or just good common sense, I can’t bring myself to do a lot of the destructive things that are frowned upon by the church, my parents and society.

I want to be a better friend in 2007. I honestly think I’m a good one now. I’m not overtly selfish and I do care; other than my asshole moments I think I’m above average. I never tell the people around me I love them. So there is room for improvement.

I want to highlight my “good” features in 2007. I’m not a model (obviously) but I do think I have a lot to offer a lucky woman. I want to accent my personality (sense of humor and all that jazz), my intelligence and my style this year (Mike and style? Well in 2007, we’ll see how that goes)

I’ve rambled enough for one post, hope to see you all in 2007. Be blessed. Stay Safe.

DO WHAT YOU LOVE. LOVE WHAT YOU DO. Words to live by in 2007.

The Night Before Christmas...

Twas the night before Christmas...
and Big Mike ain't have shit else to do...
but sit and blog about nothing, just for you!

Ok, so I think I'm the only one this bothers but how come every black person in commercials has to have an afro. I mean seriously, is that supposed to represent all of us. I can't get as mad as I want to because I've had an afro at 3 different times in my life but McDonald's even did in a cartoon commercial where the black people had 'fros

And its one dude who is just like the "King" of commercials right now. He was in that Bailey's joint with the lady from Girlfriends, he was in a recent TGI Commercial where he gives a giftcard to his friend.

The funny thing is I wasn't the only one wondering who the hell he was. I google'd Bailey's commercial and some of the other ads he was and came across over 20 message boards where people were wondering who the hell he is and how come he never has speaking parts in those commercials.

Anyway, I found this dude, NOBODY KNOWS THIS NIGGA! He was in the Coke Lime commercial, Burger King commercial, he was Jenkins in the American Airlines joint, Visa with the dancing worm and check, and a bunch of other shit anyway I just gave up and started watching the Grinch (the old one)

So, if ya'll get bored please tell me who the fuck this nigga is?
and by the way he ain't got nothing on my boy the Rubberband Man!

Them commercials were my joints!
At least this dude, his name is actually Eddie Steeples, took his commercial success and turned it into a career (He's been in a couple movies and is on the show "My Name Is Earl") and by the way, if you get bored go on YouTube and watch his old commercials AND he has some old audition tapes on there from like '99, them joints are hilarious. Anyway, I gotta wrap these gifts! Y'all be easy and Merry Christmas from ya boy Big Mike and THE RUBBERBAND MAN!


I might write more later so until then here is a video from the Rubberband Man...

The Instant "NO" list...

So the one they call BIG MIKE is still trying to get wifed up but needed to weed out the list, so these are his instant NO's (granted this is kind of immature)

- Any proud parents on MySpace – Yea, I can’t be a stepfather and that sad part is some of the proud parents look way better than the kidless girls, what’s their excuse?

- Any woman who is not in school or doesn’t have a degree – I’m like a good job, I need that piece of paper saying you finished school.

- Any girl with marijuana plants or middle finger pictures – That shit is just ghetto.

- Any girl with Blue Kiss/mall pictures – That shit is hood.

- Any woman with childish shit like Winnie the Pooh or Mickey Mouse on they joint – Grow up, sometimes I can bypass it though.

- Any woman that has a Mecklenburg County Sheriff page or has ever been locked up – Can’t have a jail bird, even if it is only disorderly conduct.

- Any woman that bumps Pastor Troy or Three 6 more than I do – Come on.

- Any woman with a grill – Come on.

- Any woman who curses nearly as much as me – That’s so unlady like.

- Any woman without a belief system – Believe in something man! Hopefully God.

- Any woman who has crossed over from being thick to being big – It’s a thin line. Thick can be sexy, big is just big. No Mo’Nique’s. Yes that’s kinda shallow.

- Any woman who weighs under 140 but calls themselves fat – Shut up and get your self-esteem in check.

- No up-do’s – You are not going to the prom. Any B.A.P.S. lookin' hair is a no go.

- Any woman that smokes – I can’t deal with it.

- No woman wearing Capris and Reebok Classics – I know I wear Vans, flip flops and other BS but something about those is an instant no. Gauchos and heels, sexy. Capris and Classics, not feeling it.

- Any woman waiting in line for Jordan’s – Once in a while is ok I guess, but every time they drop...It's just not that serious to me.

- No ridiculously fake hair – Fool me people!

- Any woman who wants a Donk or Caprice – That’s just not me.

- Any woman who can’t appreciate soulful music or real art – Respect real art, no Biggie and Tupac pictures (no offense but I’m talking classically here)

- Any woman that’s not articulate – I need communication

- Any woman way taller than me – I’ve seen some sexy 6’3’s but really its not a good look and I’ve picked on too many people whose girl was towering over them.

- Any woman that’s “damaged goods” – That’s any woman who started way too early and whose body count is way too high.

- Any woman who has only read Flyy Girl and Eric Jerome Dickey books (books in that genre ya know) – Read a real book! (no offence to the author)

- Any woman that talks more shit than me or is extremely aggressive – Don’t be pushy, don’t be an asshole.

- Any woman that’s Beyonce brainwashed or “feels” Mary J. a lil too much – Beyonce has hot songs but everyone shouldn’t hit home with you. The same with Mary J.

- Any woman who can’t admit that Girlfriends is written by a white man and therefore based on stereotypes – Fraiser produces that show! Fraiser!

- Any woman watching over 5-10 hours of BET a week – I really believe it’s killing us slowly but surely. Terrance J is doing his thing though.

- Any woman who wants to name their child something a La-, Sha- or something spelled backwards – That’s kinda ghetto too, depends though.

- Any woman who calls speaking well, good grades and wearing clothes that fit “white boy shit” – Grow up. Raise your standards.

- Any woman bumpin’ Soulja Boy or saying Young Dro is real – I actually have both CDs and like em but a girl having em is just a No.

- Any girl still calling T.I., Juelz or some other rapper their “husband” or “boo” – Grow up, that nigga don’t know you.

- Any woman in the club more than 2-3 times a week – That’s overdoing it.

- Any woman who still got B2K and Word Up magazine type shit on the wall – I can’t go too far because I ripped random pictures out of magazines to cover my wall (I hate white walls).

- I don’t like messed up teeth – Personal preference.

Alright I’ll stop but you get what I’m trying to say. I’m picky. Happy Holidays and if you don’t see yourself on this random list of things, HI, I’M MIKE MCCRAY….

9 Minutes with 9th Wonder

I got a chance to sit down with “real hip-hop” producer 9th Wonder before a seminar on “Commercial Radio” where the professor of “Hip-Hop in Context: 1973-1997” was on the panel.

So what really brings you out here tonight to A&T?
“I teach a class at North Carolina Central, a hip-hop class. I’ve been talking to Dr. Turman (professor of hip-hip at NC A&T) for quite sometime now about just trying to get hip hop in a university setting so when he told me about this seminar a long time ago, like maybe back in September, and so that’s why I came out here plus I’m from Winston-Salem so it’s like my backyard.”

How does it for you to see classes like this and hip hop studies popping up at A&T and HBCU’s all around…?
“It’s crazy you know man, because you know I think I can attest for me, myself, Turman and Kyle Santillian (102 Jamz personality), this is something we only heard on the radio, you know what I’m saying or we might have bought at the store but to see it in a syllabi or to see books behind or to even see lyrics printed out on paper is like backwards for us, you know what I’m saying but for yall, for some of yall, the first time you see lyrics on the table may be the first time you’ve heard or seen the song but for us we heard the song first so to see it on paper it’s kinda funny”

Who were your inspirations coming up?
“Pete Rock and Premiere and Diamond D and Evil D and the RZA, and you know umm Marley Marl and Jazzy Jeff, just everybody…Dre, Dr. Dre of course, all of the vast, we had a wide range of dope musicians back…back in the day, it seems back in the day but like 15 years ago, which don’t seem like that long ago to me (laughing). We had a lot of dope musicians back in the day man.

What does it feel like now to have people say you are one of their inspirations, all the people who are MySpace producers out here that’s saying 9th Wonder is one of my inspirations?
“It feels funny man. I get a MySpace message everyday saying you my inspiration, because of you I use Fruity Loops. It means a lot, you know what I’m saying, if I can just do Fruity Loops or whatever, beats or whatever and that stop that kid from going out on the street doing something stupid, I mean that’s all that’s cool for me. If I can influences in a positive way, I mean his parents might get mad at him making all that racket you know what I’m saying but you’d rather your kid do that, try to learn something constructive and creative instead of going out and doing something stupid.”

How would you define your sound?
“I make black music man. I’m tired of cats saying underground or whatever, I don’t even know what that means no more jack! You see what I’m saying, I don’t know what that means, what underground means no more. All I know is I make music for black people, if you can get with it you can, if you can’t you can’t but my (music), I make music for Black People man! (laughing) Like we need to stop trying to divide it, its music for black people and it’s music that black people shouldn’t listen to I feel like…

Who shouldn’t we listen to?
(laughing in the background) "I ain’t even gone call no names. You know what I’m saying, anything that’s…I believe music carries spirits man. Certain music carries spirits, some music makes you happy, some music makes you want to act stupid and I don’t think that music is for black people. That makes us look stupid.

How was the adjustment to teaching?
“I was in school to teach. When I was doing undergrad at Central, history education was my major so making the transition wasn’t too hard, instead of talking about world history I’m talking about hip hop history in a chronological order but the thing about it is, I witnessed all of it. I mean I witnessed it from down here but I witnessed it…and I still learn a lot of stuff. Like a lot of stuff I didn’t know and I might read and be like “Man I didn’t know that!” but majority of the stuff I talk about from past experience. I talk about how…I was there when certain records came out. I knew exactly what I was doing, where I was at, who I was with and the students just be like “Word?” so it’s all good.

When did you start producing and do you remember the first song that you produced?
“That I produced…(thinking). The first song that I produced, that I put together was a song, me and Big Pooh called umm (thinking) Morning something (thinking). God I don’t remember that was so long ago, but me and Pooh did a song and umm…that was a song that we did and I was like man, “Ok, Pooh say it like this or lets do it like this” and that was one of the first song I produced and that was like in 2000.

When did you realize you had a following?
“When this kid hit me up from San Diego and was like “Yo man, I’ve been on your soundclick page all day. Me and my 10 friends been here listening to your soundclick page.” I’m like “Well dog, if he doing that in San Diego? It’s no telling.”

What do you hope to accomplish tonight as far as what comes through?
“My thing is to get black people to think man. Get young black people to think. Don’t take everything as face value; you know what I’m saying. We all have jobs to do, some of us like our jobs some of us don’t but…don’t take things for what it is and you can make a difference no matter what. A lot of kids think they can’t do anything to change the world or make a difference but Shoot! Every revolution has been by young people; you know what I’m saying.

How many albums and demos do you get just handed to you, sent to you or e-mailed to you?
“Oh man…(thinking) I say on average, if I check my MySpace twice a day, I have to approve like maybe 8-9 pages of people. If I don’t check it all day it can be like 32-33 pages of approving just friends and I approve everybody, long as you ain’t up there with no shirt on, if you a dude up there with no shirt on, you done seen ‘em cuz, Noooo you can’t get approval! But I get a lot of cats that say, “Check me out” and you know I’m… I ain’t gone lie, I don’t check out everybody because some dudes be looking…it be dudes up there with a skull with blood coming out of it like “Check me ouuuuuut!” (laughing). Nah I’m not finna check you out…(laughing)

You got any advice for up and coming producers, up and coming artists, especially out of this area?
“You’re local because you live here. You’re not local because of the music you make. That’s the only thing about you that’s local. I’m local because I live here but thanks to the internet your music can get out everywhere and never believe you can’t meet somebody like a Beyonce or a J (Jay-Z) or a Mary, don’t believe you can’t meet them people because if your music is dope enough you can.

Did you want to do this? Did you know this is what you wanted to do, you went to school for teaching but…?
“I wanted to be in music, you know what I’m saying, I wanted to do music. I wanted to be in music I knew that.”

Did you necessarily want to be a star?
“I don’t think I’m a star now man. To some they might “Oh man, there go 9th Wonder!” but I still be like (makes face). I just do beats for a living. I’ll just keep it like that. You ain’t see me come in here with no deep entourage and my car ain’t bullet proof, I don’t need all that. I just make beats man and if you bring in too many people like that then…I’m a down home dude I like down home people.”

9th Wonder’s class is one of the most popular at North Carolina Central and covers hip-hop from the day Kool Herc walked into the Bronx and ends the day Biggie died.

Look out for the “Commercial Radio Roundtable” podcast soon! It was definitely something you wanna hear, BUT until I get that done I gotta share my favorite quote from the whole event…

"30-40 years from now, somebody grandma gone be at Thanksgiving singin' Laffy Taffy to her grandkids, DO YOU KNOW HOW SCARY THAT IS? And she gone be Chicken Noodle Soupin'!"

Coffee and Doritios

If you wondering about the title, it was 5:30 am and I was drinking coffee and eating Doritos so I was basically brainstorming now to our feature presentation...COFFEE AND DORITOS: A BLOG ABOUT NOTHING.

I'm on nigga overload!

Like adults who grind all week doing the 9-5 thing this year I've grown to savor the weekend as my time to get away. On the weekends, I'm out of sight, out of mind and out of touch. I can sleep all day and be good, but this weekend our house has been packed. People are loud, I can't think and all I want to do is be able to read or play Live in peace.

Last night, we had our friends from Bennett College over, I love them. Good people. Respectful of our home but then these niggas I ain't know was loud and drunk. So, this nigga falls out the chair, its 3:34 in the morning, I'm just like WHAT THE HELL! I come out the room looking to amp on somebody and this nigga laying on the floor in front of my room door with the chair turned over. I stepped over his drunk ass and got some juice out the refrigerator and then this nigga started talkin I nodded and then slammed my door in his face.

Making things worse is the fact is I'm growing out of my ignorant indulgences. That shit is annoy as hell to me now. "Hood" shit is making me lose my mind. I'm tired of Boosie, I'm tired of niggas talking about getting this tool that tool, rims, cars, speakers, I'm tired of hearing about it. I don't drive, I don't want to have a gun and I could care less about speakers and rims. I'm not turning my back on the hood but I'm moving away from it, that shit is stagnant.

Me and moms talked about "What if I got famous" during Thanksgiving break and I was like I would love to hire some dudes from our 'hood but I can't trust none of them other than Lil' Mike and the ones who went to college, the rest are stuck in that cycle that working stock at Wal-Mart is a good ass job and that doing something big is buying a old ass car (not a classic car, an old ass car) and dropping all their money on it then being broke all over again. The hood mentality is really what I think it is. When it's used to better yourself and your situation long term, it's cool but when it's used for temporary gain I think you're wasting it.

In other news...I'm watching these Real World previews for next week and thinking it's a wrap for this white boy who called the black dude a "nigger." He said it on national TV too, it wasn't like Michael Richards incident where you had to find it on YouTube or TMZ, he said that shit on cable. He better hope he can do Real World/Road Rules challenges or something because I don't know many companies that would take the risk of hiring him (unless they just wanted to say "the guy from the Real World works here")

But it's funny, I said after the first episode, a nigga named Tyree is on the show. I think it was more than coincidence that a black dude named Tyree is on the show this year (think Chappelle's Show: Mad Real World) and that he is as close to a "typical" black dude I've seen on there in years. The dude from Howard is so against gay people but he seems kinda soft himself, I mean maybe that's just the Cali in him but I wouldn't be surprised if he was hiding something.

All I can say about gay people is I'm not one (Ladies get at me! lol) and they don't bother me, I won't bother you. Dude from 102 Jamz said it best, I don't mind you coming out the closet just don't come out the damn house meaning, don't be just ridiculously rainbow ya know. I'm I don't think people are born gay but I do think some people can't help it. I'm homophobic, I definitely keep my mannerisms in check.


Moving on...I got to interview producer 9th Wonder this week, that was pretty big and spur of the moment. I wish I had a chance to sit and prepare some questions but they told me at 6:45 and the interview was at 7, so I asked some questions of the top of my head. Went pretty well, I'm gonna make a podcast of it so be on the lookout for that. But the highlight of the whole thing was this MacBook photo we took on my laptop and this quote...



"30-40 years from now, somebody grandma gone be at Thanksgiving singing' Laffy Taffy to her grandkids, DO YOU KNOW HOW SCARY THAT IS? And she gone be Chicken Noodle Soupin'!"

Be on the lookout for that whole "Commercial radio" podcast and more Coffee and Doritos: A blog about nothing.